Growing up my Mom was the emotional rock for our family. I love my Dad, he’s great, but emotion is something that was always lacking from my Dad. He was great at course correction, imparting wisdom, bringing up knowing who God is and why I need Jesus in my life, but showing emotion was hard for him. While I knew back than that I was loved, it was something he didn’t say all that much. While I knew that he was proud of me, he didn’t tell me all that much. Having become a father myself I realized there are some things I wish my Dad had said to me a little more often.
1. They need to hear that they are loved. You can never tell your children enough that they are loved. Love is one of those things we seek out in our relationships and if there is a deficit in the love bank in our hearts we will find a way to fill it ourselves. Sometimes that can lead us to finding “love” in all the wrong places or believing we are being loved by people who are just using us. Scientists at Harvard found that just saying the words, “I love you” can create connections in our brain to certain actions. So lets show our children what LOVE looks like and remind them that they are loved everyday by their earthly parents and their Heavenly Father.
2. They need to hear when they get things right. Dad’s are great at fixing things. My Dad was a master fixer with a room he even dubbed “The Wisdom Room.” While I will never forget those often hard and long conversations that helped course correct my life, I can rarely recall a time when I heard “Atta boy” or “Well done” from my Dad. While yes, fixing is a part of being a Dad, so is the softer side or coming alongside your child and helping them see all the times they got it right. Celebrate the wins and often as we course correct the errors.
3. They need to see and hear how you love your wife. Hands down, the man I am today and how I love my wife is in direct correlation to how I saw my Dad love my Mom. I saw how strong he was for her everyday of her fight against Lupus till the very end. I heard how he proudly spoke of her beauty and grace and how well she cared for the family. Even during the times I saw them argue, I never heard him disrespect her. He showed me in words and actions what it looked like for a Godly man to strive to love his wife day in and day out.
As a Father I have a choice to be a Dad or be a babysitter. I can actively take part in my son’s life and be a Dad or can relieve my wife from time to time when I’m home and babysit. I choose to be a Dad. One who tells his son he is loved everyday, one who can course correct the errors and celebrate the wins no matter how small and one who will teach his son how to be a Godly man. A man who loves God, loves his wife and loves his family. #DadLife
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