Whether you love the show “The Bachelor” or think it’s garbage, hang in here with me. There was a huge lesson in the finale of this season that I cannot stop thinking about!
“I still think about her…for me, the more I hang out with you the more I feel like I am losing the possibility of maybe reconciling things with Lauren.”
Those were the words that Arie, the Bachelor, said to his fiance last night after the finale of the show.
He proposed to a girl named Becca and dumped the runner up, Lauren, in the end. However, after the big finale and engagement happened, Arie was left regretting his decision and dumped his new fiance to pursue the girl he left behind.
As someone who has watched the show since it’s beginning, I have been on the fence of quitting it for a while. I hit my breaking point with this season and have decided that I’m done. I’m not watching “The Bachelor” ever again! Not only does it manipulate love into something it should never be, but it also uses people’s heartache for ratings. It was all too much.
Sadly, I saw myself in Arie during the final moments of this season and you might too.
Arie’s struggle and his quote to Becca revealed that he had been dwelling on the girl he left behind. The words “what if” had clearly been running through his mind so much that he was no longer present and thankful for his current relationship.
The phrase “WHAT IF” could be the most dangerous question you ever ask in your life!
What if I had taken that other job?
What if I had never broken up with my ex?
What if we hadn’t bought this house?
What if we hadn’t waited to have kids?
“What if” keeps your mind in a possible past that is NOT your reality. We tend to always romanticize what could have been. Even if you did take the other job or had never broken up with your ex, things would not be perfect in those scenarios either. Arie would still have issues with the other woman because they are both still flawed people. There is no perfect path, but there is the opportunity to make the best of the path you are on every single day. When our minds are elsewhere then whole seasons of our lives can be stolen from us as we fantasize what our lives could have been. In this situation, Arie thinking the grass would be greener with Lauren has caused him to become the biggest villain in Bachelor history.
Arie said he was just following his heart, but our hearts are fickle. The Bible even says our hearts are evil in Jeremiah 17:9, so we can’t trust them!
Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”
Our emotions change from day to day, but our God does not. Focus your heart on Him and ask Him to help you keep your mind on being grateful for what you do have.
Have you ever caught yourself in a “what if” moment? We cannot let ourselves dwell on the life we do not have. The grass is not greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it. Focus on today with the job you have, the home you have, the people you have and cherish them. Grow where you are planted! When that little bit of doubts starts to creep into your mind and you want to say “what if,”, shut it down with gratitude for the life you DO have.