You are spot on about our expectations of others; however, your answer to the woman who asked about how to deal with her sister-in-law who backed out of watching her step-children was ALL wrong.

Why is she the one who is arranging childcare? Where is her husband? Those are HIS kids, and that is HIS sister! I bet if the sister backed out on him, he would have no problem having a come to Jesus meeting with her about it!

The stepmom obviously works so having more mouths to feed and more laundry to do should be enough extra work for her to cover. Your making her feel guilty about her expectations for help is out of line!

If it came off as a guilt trip that was unintended.  That is the realist in me.  To continue to expect something from someone who will never give you that is crazy and only is hurting her, so it is her best interest to find other options for her own sanity and for peace in the family.

It’s not about guilt, it is being practical.  If I keep going to a pizza place that doesn’t serve steak, but I keep trying to order it there, I am only going to be let down and get frustrated. However If I go to a steak place when I need steak then I am happy and when I go back to get pizza they will be happier cause I am not asking for something they can’t give me.

 I hope that is more clear.  I was not coming down on her at all.