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E-Mess-smileyI’m sorry to bother you with this selfish question. My only child, 27 years old, died 9/9/13 due to medical malpractice. In FL the only ones that can sue for malpractice are spouses and dependent children. My daughter had neither so the doctor got away with it.

My daughter was handicapped since birth and my best friend. I’m trying my best to keep functioning, but it’s not working. I miss a lot of work days, my job is in jeopardy, lost pay has me behind on my bills and honestly I just want to die.

If God is forgiving, do you think he’d forgive me if I tried to join my daughter in Heaven? I really can’t take much more.

Wally-E-Mess-iconI am so sorry you are struggling so badly. It is understandable. That was your daughter and I can’t even begin to imagine what you are feeling. I know that it is not God’s will for you to join your daughter. It is so hard to understand, but you might be able to one day help someone who feels like you do now. I know that probably seems impossible, but I think that is what that verse in the Bible means by all things working together for good…It might not be our good in this moment, but there is purpose to our pain.

I can feel your hurt and anger for this doctor as you say “he got away with it.” I don’t know the pain of losing a child, but I do know the problem with harboring anger or resentment. In the end it only consumes us. That doctor sleeps at night not thinking about what you are dealing with so it is only destroying you which I think is the last thing your daughter would want.

As hard as this is to believe, forgiveness will set you free. It does not absolve him of anything he did wrong, but it does let you move forward by giving up your right to be angry. I can’t tell you enough how freeing it is when you give the anger to God and extend the forgiveness that God gave us to others.

I used to pray for God to change others and then I realized that the heart He needed to change was mine. When I started praying that He would change me first it changed my other relationships and my world.

It takes time to get to that place. In the mean time check out the song Losing by Tenth Avenue North. It is all about what you are going through and it is very powerful. Let me know what you think of it.




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