The Christmas season comes with so many wonderful things…but sometimes, life adds a few curveballs that make it all feel a little overwhelming. Michelle can relate, as she’s dealing with some major life changes right before the holidays. She reached out to John from Rock House Center for some Hot Mess help.
In 2011, I got married. A month later, our first child was stillborn. A year later, our healthy baby boy was born; but I struggled with postpartum, was still mourning our daughter, and was a brand new mom.
On the night of what would have been our daughter’s 2nd birthday, my husband and I had an ugly separation. But he never filed for divorce, so this year, I was forced to do so.
He then volunteered to deploy, which I believe is his way of running away from it all. His deployment and the finalization of our divorce fall in the same week, and I’m not over any of it.
My poor son has to say goodbye to his dad. I have to say goodbye and then officially have it declared “over” by a judge. It’s not easy, and it’s not what I wanted.
All of this is falling right before Christmas, and I’m just a big hot mess!
John had two main things for Michelle to focus on initially; the first was to continue to build faith in God. One of the things she lost in her separation was the dependency on her husband as “her rock” through those hard times. Now that needs to shift to God as her Rock and as the One who takes the burden.
The other takeaway is dealing with any unforgiveness toward Michelle’s ex-husband and his family. John calls it “turning a heart of conflict into a heart of ministry” by following how Jesus forgave His accusers from the cross.
Others in Michelle’s story also suffered from this loss, and sometimes other people’s broken hearts can cause them to act out in certain ways, even if that’s not who they want to be.
The beautiful thing about God is that He gives us opportunities to start new every day, so the things ending in Michelle’s life also provide a new beginning.
Hear John and Michelle’s complete conversation here:
If you’d like to talk to John about something that makes you feel like a hot mess, tell us about it below. While we won’t be able to talk with everyone, our goal is to reach out to as many people as possible. If you’d like to see what Rock House Center is all about or even schedule an assessment, click here.