After pouring through over 600 hundred entries of people who wanted to have their lyrics or life story turned into a song by Matthew West we have a winner! Matthew West chose Victoria from Holland, MI to be the subject of the Something to Say song! We will debut the song on Total Axxes in 2 weeks!
About six years ago, when I was 28, I was taking a nursing assistant course with about 15 other people, of all ages. I was a struggling single mom hoping to get a good job to make ends meet. I had recently gone through a lot of trials and was trying to rebuild a long lost relationship with God. My self-esteem had been so damaged that I was barely making it through each day, my three girls where the only reasons to get up each day.
Well, there were these two girls in my class that were about 6 years younger then me. They were social, beautiful, trendy, and seemed to have a lot going for them. I would watch them and relive high school all over again, I was so jealous of them both. One girl, “Nora”, made me so self-conscious that I carefully thought over all my words, because I wanted to her like me. I don’t know why, I should have been above all that at my age.
Anyway, on the last day of class, we were all talking about how we
were not going to see each other again. Those two girls gave me their phone numbers. I ended up working at a nursing home with the other girl, and I never saw Nora again. However, her name haunted me for months after the class ended. I knew it was God telling me to call her. I even looked at her name and phone number, written in her hand writing a few times.
My insecurities got in the way again. “What do I have to offer her, God?” “She wouldnâ€™t remember me.” “I’m sure she has plenty of friends, she doesnâ€™t need me.” I thought of every reason why a single mom, still struggling herself, could be a friend to a young woman who obviously has it all together.
As time when on, and I got stronger in my faith, I was no-longer struggling with my own self esteem. Speed up about 2 1/2 to 3 years later, the other girl walked up to me at work and had asked me if I remembered Nora. I said “Yes, definitely.” Thinking at the moment how I never called her. “Well, she is dead.”
My heart sank to an all time low. Our local news had been featuring a story about a young woman who was found dead inside a drug house of an over-dose. This house had been under surveillance with under-cover policemen. The two drug dealers she was friends with were charged in her death.
She left behind a toddler age son. I struggle with the guilt of her death. Had I obeyed God, and called and built a relationship with Nora, she may still be alive today, or at the very least had given her heart and trust to Jesus.
I canâ€™t speculate what Godâ€™s plan was for me in Noraâ€™s life, however, I didnâ€™t trust Him enough to find out. I have had many conversations with God, and I still feel responsible for the possibility that she is in Hell and I could have done something to help save her. I know God loves Nora, and hopefully, he sent somebody else in my place to show her the love of Jesus.
There are many times in my life that I know I have disappointed my heavenly Father, however, this is one time that I know would have made a difference between life and death. I have used this story a few times to speak to the teens at our church about how insecurities can get in the way of Godâ€™s plan, and we are to keep focused on Him because His understanding is far bigger then ours. If we fail to obey God, someone else may pay a huge price.