Hey Wally,
I’m having an issue. My parents are in a big fight that’s been going on for months. It is just tearing me apart. Im a wreck! I cry for the silliest things.

It started out that they just saw a councilor. Then the councilor thought they shouldn’t sleep together until things get better. It still wasn’t fixed. So he said to have my dad move out for a while.

This is ripping me apart. I’m hurting emotionally and spiritually. I always ask myself what did I do to deserve this and why did god send this to me?

Ever since my parents started fighting I’ve also been really insecure. I feel like I’m alone. My mom has been going out a lot more since my dad and her starting fighting. This bugs me SO much you don’t even know. My life is upside down. My parents are destroying me, my life is falling apart, and I’m a wreck.

Can’t they see I’m hurting because of them! Can’t they see how much they have damaged me!!!! I’m so mad at them and honestly God!!!!!! I wish they would just make up already, forget this even happened. But it’s not happening. I honestly feel it’s getting worse. Wally Im not sure what to feel, say, or think about this whole thing. Can you help me? (I’m 12 years old and in 7th grade.)

I am sorry you are going through this. I know it is tough. My best friend and his wife are in the same situation as you and their kids are hurting and wondering why too.

The reality is parents are people and I guarantee you that you do not know all that has gone on. Parents try to protect their children from the details of their problems, but that is the key–these are their problems. They do not have anything to do with you and I will bet there is stuff they have been dealing with quietly for years that is now just bubbling over.

Obviously your parent’s choices are hurting you but know that as hard as it is on you it is hurting them too. I know they wish they were not in this situation either but they are and they probably don’t know how to get out of it too.

I know it seems simple, forgive and forget, but we aren’t always capable of that as people. The thing to remember is God has not forsaken you or your family. God works inside of even bad situations but sometimes the outcome doesn’t look like we think it should.

I don’t know what the future holds for your family and it may not be what you would like to see happen but it is important that you know this is not on you. This is not your fault. Your parents need to get their stuff worked out.

In the mean time you need to pray for them and be honest with them about your feelings. I hope your parents can work this out but regardless make sure that you learn from them and do not repeat their mistakes in your life as you get older and date and marry.

I know that doesn’t solve your problems but I hope it helps you a little. God is not against you or your family. Your parents just have to get their stuff figured out and get God back in the center of their relationship.