Thank you Relevant Magazine and Eric Demeter for reminding us that not all dating advice is created equal. Some things we hear from well meaning friends and family can actually be pretty horrible advice. For instance…
#1 You’ll Meet “The One” When You Stop Looking.
People often respond with this pithy maxim when, in their opinion, someone they know is struggling with singleness “purgatory” or perhaps has been putting too much effort into finding a mate. “You know,” they’ll muse, “I met [insert spouse’s name] when I least expected it. I wasn’t even looking to date anyone!”
There is certainly a lot of merit in not acting out of desperation and taking seasons off from dating. However, taken to the extreme, this reverse psychology approach (of sticking your head in the sand yet expecting to find a serious relationship) is an oxymoron at best. Much of what we long for in life in discovering a fulfilling vocation, experiencing God and even meeting our future spouse requires effort on our part as well as reliance on God’s guidance.
Yeah, makes perfect sense in our brains when friends and family tell us that…but in actuality its not really how God works. Is it good to take time off from dating from time to time to refocus and recenter your life with Christ. YES. But plugging your head in the sand and saying “Im not gonna do anything until they magically appear out of nowhere” makes little sense too. Check out the rest of the article HERE! Its good.
-Carlos