3 Things You Should STOP Asking Your Friends Who Are Dating

Dating is such a special time in a relationship, but for some reason people are so ready to rush couples into the next stage of life! I am all for dating with a purpose and dating with the intent of finding your spouse, however there is no need to rush the process. If you are trying to get with your ex again here are some great tips to get her back.

I just recently visited some old friends and as soon as I saw them the questions started flying about my relationship. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for several months now and everyone was clamoring to get a wedding invite when we are just not there yet.

I get it. Weddings and marriage are exciting and everyone wants to be a part of the process. It’s fun to get the inside scoop on proposals and wedding planning, but dating is exciting too! There is already pressure on couples who are intentionally dating as they head towards marriage. Couples do not need added pressure that comes from the following questions:

couples photo

Photo by josh.greentree

1. Are You in Love?

If they are in love, then chances are they won’t be able to contain themselves and they will blurt it out to you. If they are not in love yet, then the constant questions may cause them to question things.

From my experience, every couple has a different story and timeline for when they fell in love. If your story does not match theirs then this question is followed by concern, awkward glances, and unsolicited advice. Give me a break! Real love takes time and is so much deeper than the initial effectuation. Let love blossom and happen in it’s perfect time instead of constantly asking about it.

2. When Are You Getting Married?

This has to be my pet peeve! I would LOVE to be married and hopefully one day I will be. However, I am not racing down the isle. I know how serious a marriage covenant is and I am not about to jump into something that will last a lifetime without some serious thought and time to examine it!

It may not be the norm in Christian circles to take your time while dating and not get married quickly, but I’m fine with being the exception. This question is asked so often that sometimes the dating stage seems to be something that people need to simply rush through to get on to the engagement and marriage phase. Dating is the best! Never again will the relationship consist of only getting together for dates where you simply get to enjoy spending time and getting to know one another. How cool is that? Instead of asking when is the wedding date, instead ask about the amazing dates that they are going on and encourage them to dig in deep during this time of getting to know one another.

3. Are They the One?

If I had a quarter for every time someone has asked me this, then I would at least be on my way to saving for a wedding! Is there a rule somewhere that as soon as you officially become a couple, you are expected to know if they are “the one” for you to marry? NOPE! Most people do not even believe in “the one” anymore, so let’s stop asking this one! The most frustrating part is seeing people’s reactions when I answer honestly and say, that I’m sure yet. I hope that he is and he just might be, but I’m not there yet. Be careful of putting your dating friends on a timeline in your own mind when we all know that God reveals these things to us in HIS time and not OURS. If they are “the one” then they will get married and you will find out eventually.

These questions are coming from a good place and I completely get that. Just be sure to consider your audience next time you throw these questions out for a dating couple and encourage them to seek and pursue God no matter what stage they are in!

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